1. Do you describe yourself as polyamorous? nonmonogamous? "responsibly nonmonogamous"?
I call myself nonmonogamous by preference, which to me just means not monogamous, because I think it's the broadest available term. I have bowed to peer pressure (*grin*) and will now call myself poly in circles where that's the most usual term. I detest 'responsible nonmonogamy' because it implies a looking down on everyone else who is presumably *irresponsible*. To some that only includes cheating, but to others it covers casual sex, or sex which is less safe than their personal standard of safer sex, so I won't use it.
2. Which if any of those three terms are equivalent for you, or what are the differences?
I think polyamory is a subset of nonmonogamy, which doesn't include classic swinging, for instance. People I know use them fairly interchangeably, though.
3. If you have political objections to claiming the term polyamory, what are they?
I disliked the prevailing (mainly American) attitude on alt.poly when I used to read it, and I also objected to similar things in Loving More Magazine and from Deberoh Anapol etc. They all seemed to want to distance themselves as far as possible from swingers and say that poly people wouldn't ever, for instance, suck anonymous cock in a club or go cruising or whatever. I want to be free to have casual sex *or* relationships and anything in between, which seems to confuse some people.
4. If someone has one primary partner, plus casual sex without ongoing relationships with others, would you count that as polyamory?
*Shrug* If they call it poly, it's poly, but if they've got an explicit agreement with their primary partner that they're never to develop a relationship with any of the other people, I'd call it non-monogamy instead.
5. Do you consider yourself part of a "polyamory community"? If yes, in what sense?
Only in the sense that a lot of the people I know are poly, but then the same goes for the bi community, really...
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2002-09-26 05:10 am (UTC)I call myself nonmonogamous by preference, which to me just means not monogamous, because I think it's the broadest available term. I have bowed to peer pressure (*grin*) and will now call myself poly in circles where that's the most usual term. I detest 'responsible nonmonogamy' because it implies a looking down on everyone else who is presumably *irresponsible*. To some that only includes cheating, but to others it covers casual sex, or sex which is less safe than their personal standard of safer sex, so I won't use it.
2. Which if any of those three terms are equivalent for you, or what are the differences?
I think polyamory is a subset of nonmonogamy, which doesn't include classic swinging, for instance. People I know use them fairly interchangeably, though.
3. If you have political objections to claiming the term polyamory, what are they?
I disliked the prevailing (mainly American) attitude on alt.poly when I used to read it, and I also objected to similar things in Loving More Magazine and from Deberoh Anapol etc. They all seemed to want to distance themselves as far as possible from swingers and say that poly people wouldn't ever, for instance, suck anonymous cock in a club or go cruising or whatever. I want to be free to have casual sex *or* relationships and anything in between, which seems to confuse some people.
4. If someone has one primary partner, plus casual sex without ongoing relationships with others, would you count that as polyamory?
*Shrug* If they call it poly, it's poly, but if they've got an explicit agreement with their primary partner that they're never to develop a relationship with any of the other people, I'd call it non-monogamy instead.
5. Do you consider yourself part of a "polyamory community"? If yes, in what sense?
Only in the sense that a lot of the people I know are poly, but then the same goes for the bi community, really...