memevector: (Default)
[personal profile] memevector
Some circumstances leading to an interesting-to-me train of thought:

I own the house I live in, which I would say is both a privilege and a responsibility. Yesterday I was thinking about house maintenance (as in the fabric of the building), which is something I don't think I've ever managed very well. Specifically, at the moment the outside woodwork is long overdue for painting and the putty is falling off the windows as a result, and I feel upset about that because as a general rule I am all for planning ahead and "a stitch in time saves nine" and all that, so it doesn't meet my standards to lapse into negligence in that way with my possessions.

And so then I was thinking about some specific things it would have been useful to know "up front" when I first got the house. And I had this thought like: there should be a manual - a book of "Things to know if you own a house". Like a chapter on renting rooms if that's what you want to do (although by now I've learnt a lot about that by experience), and a chapter on the different maintenance things and a chapter on insurance and so on and so on. Not just what needs doing but how to go about it, like how to find tradespeople you can get on with (which was probably the main underlying factor in why I didn't already sort out the painting - if I had someone I could just ring up and say "come and do it", I probably would have done that). And for instance although it's not like I didn't know that it needed painting, it hadn't dawned on me at first that paint on external woodwork is the waterproofing, and if it gets as far as cracking, there will later be water damage to the wood or putty.

And then I thought: but there probably is a manual like that somewhere. Or at least all the information I needed is probably out there somewhere. And then at first I felt a bit of a fool and incompetent, because of all the information I probably have had about this kind of thing - how could I have failed to act upon it? ("any fule kno")

But then I realised that what's lacking isn't information: it's reliable information. Which is a whole other kettle of fish.

Huge amounts of information or advice which I have been told in all seriousness (whether in person or in books, let alone magazines) has in fact turned out to be utter bollocks which it has served me very well to disbelieve. The many wise things which have been said to me over time are like specks of gold in acres and acres of dust, some of which is goldish in colour :-)

(This ties in with a theme I was mining a while ago about "Going my own way; but what is my own way? because sometimes I don't know yet". That had a catchphrase "Received wisdom that isn't very wise".)

E.g. in the areas of gender, sexuality and "how to do relationships": large percentages of disprovable "facts" there, as well as things which are valid for other people and not for me. But also misreported science and the like.

So what you might call my "default attitude" is of scepticism about almost every alleged fact that comes my way. And I know to expect that most of the advice I encounter will be inapplicable to my circumstances or just plain wrong, although the ratios vary depending on the source.

That doesn't mean that I can only learn from my own personal experience. I get a lot of ideas by reading. The way I read "how to" books (and to some degree all books) is to trawl for things that ring true for me. And for instance if someone writes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 things, and they're all things I have experienced and I recognise the accuracy in how they describe them, then I am likely to pay more attention to their 9, 10, 11 than I would otherwise. But I'm still listening for any jarring note in 9, 10 and 11. In that sense I take very little on trust.

(Trust - there is another subject. My default is to trust people's goodwill, and mistrust, or at least withhold judgement on, their competence.)

So then it ought to be predictable that sometimes I will miss things which are in fact wise.

And some of the stuff I have taken on and tried to make work for me (e.g. different people's theories about organising yourself or time management or motivation) has later proved to have been a wrong track. So on average I may still be erring on the side of acting on stuff which later proves to be false or misfitting-to-me, rather than failing to act on stuff which later proves to be true.


A couple of times recently I've entertained this thought like "I wish I knew someone who was, like, ten times wiser than me, that I could go and ask about such-and-such a question or issue".

Even if I did know a ten-times-wiser person, I'd still have to test what they said against my own internal intuition about whether it's right for me. (And of course if they were that wise, they'd expect that and encourage it, and they wouldn't try to tell me to do anything which didn't ring true to me.) So it wouldn't be a way of abdicating responsibility for my choices.

But it would just be so luxurious to be able to start from "Here's a load of really wise stuff, now I just have to validate it for myself" instead of always having to sift out the wisdom from the enormous pile of dusty "Received wisdom most of which isn't very wise" :-)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-27 10:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elfgeek.livejournal.com
I always found that the best way to find a good tradesperson is to get recommendations from neighbours who have used them before - that way you avoid the cowboys. Well, I'm assuming you know your neighbours as you don't move every 6 months like we do. ;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-28 01:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kimble.livejournal.com
Failing that, there's always the uk.d-i-y newsgroup - lots of experienced people on there who can give you a good idea whether the tradesperson's quote is realistc, as well as providing good advice for tackling the DIY-able jobs, how seriously to take regulations, creative suggestions for stain removal, entertaining disaster stories, etc, etc.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-28 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memevector.livejournal.com
Yes, I have been a past lurker and occasional questioner on uk.d-i-y - very entertaining I agree :-)

(thanks for the reminder though)

I've got several questions I've been meaning to ask there actually, about glue and varnish and suchlike things...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-30 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memevector.livejournal.com
The feelers are out... actually a lot of our near neighbours are renty people and probably weren't even there when their houses were last painted, but I've been asking other people we know in Nottingham. I'm told that the main problem with painters is that all the good people get booked up long long in advance. So I might be too late now for this year. But at least I might be in the queue early for the Spring.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-28 08:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aster13.livejournal.com
*sympathetic grimace*
I have trouble trusting my own (usually perfectly sensible) judgement on these matters, and tend to listen to any old person who i assume will know more than me *grimace*
I know what you mean about ~reliable~ information....

I found the people in the Dulux decorating shop to be v helpful - they're a trade outlet but they do sell to the public. If the information that they give the person decorating, say, that brand new block of flats for a few grand is wrong, they're going to be in serious trouble.

PS
Can i have a badge which says "when i die i want to go to Bicon"?

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-30 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memevector.livejournal.com
I have trouble trusting my own (usually perfectly sensible) judgement on these matters, and tend to listen to any old person who i assume will know more than me *grimace*

Yes, my equivalent of that (probably), or at least not a million miles away, is when someone sounds very confident about something, and "in the moment" I think "oh they sound very sure, maybe I'm wrong", so I don't say anything. And then later on I think it over again and go "No! I was right!!" but by then it's too late :-)

Can i have a badge which says "when i die i want to go to Bicon"?

well this is an interesting thing.

I did see your other post mentioning the idea, and I couldn't decide what to say about it. It's a catchy one, but it's very BiCon-specific in a way that none of my other badges really are, so it doesn't grab me as one to include in the official series...

but then it's just occurred to me that you could design and draw one for yourself and send me it to stomp into badgeness. All the badges have a paper circle "in the middle of the sandwich" with the design on anyway - that's how they work - so if you drew one the right size it wouldn't be too much bother for me to cut it out and include it in the next batch I'm making. How about that? I would have to send you some proper instructions about how big to make it and suchlike. Shall I?

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-28 12:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thekumquat.livejournal.com
We got a full structural survey on the house we're hoping to move to. Apart from ranting about the roof (OMG it's 100 years old and ought to be replaced just because it should last about 80), and loads of caveats about everything, it was full of useful advice, along the lines of
"This type of wotsit is prone to thingy. No signs of thingy are currently present, but I recommend going up to the wotsit every X months and checking for thingy by doing Y and Z. If Y or Z show A, B, or C, you need to get blah done. Contact a member of Wotsitstuff Trade Organisation."

Of course, the usefulness of this advice will only be tested over the next 20 years.
In the meantime, I think the only way to find reputable tradespeople is looking for neighbours with well-kept windows, knocking on their doors, and asking who they got in.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-30 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memevector.livejournal.com
re wotsit/thingy etc: how very useful. If I ever buy another house I probably would go for full structural survey I think.

looking for neighbours with well-kept windows, knocking on their doors, and asking who they got in.

Mmm good idea. although an amazing number of places around here fall into the categories (a) have replacement plastic framed double glazing or (b) not very well painted :-)

still I will keep a lookout...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-28 03:19 pm (UTC)
lovingboth: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lovingboth
If the author of this post were concealled, I'd still go 'Jennifer!!' by the third paragraph, if not before.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-09-30 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memevector.livejournal.com
::amused::

can you articulate why? or was it just "a certain je ne sais quoi"?

Profile

memevector: (Default)
memevector

June 2008

S M T W T F S
1234567
8910 11121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 9th, 2025 02:34 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios